An “Office” Clip Show? SERIOUSLY?!?

I am watching the first “Office” of 2010 on my DVR right now, and I am shocked to realize that it is nothing more than a clip show. A CLIP SHOW!?! Seriously? I haven’t seen a clip show since the Simpson’s did one in their 6th season back in 1994 — and it was considered a joke even WAY back then. Seriously “Office” guys, what the heck are you thinking? They used to make clip shows way back when because that was the only way to see classic moments of a television show. This was before you could walk to the store and buy a whole season of a show on DVD. Heck, this was before syndicating TV shows was a standard practice after only 3 seasons were produced. Seriously guys, if your work load is sooo crazy that you need to spit out this incredibly lazy cop out, then maybe it’s time to end the show before you drag it through the mud. Just a suggestion.

The Lava is Coming! RUN AWAY!!!

I’m sitting here, right now, watching Volcano on AMC. You know, that ridiculous movie the has a river of lava chasing Anne Heche and Tommy Lee Jones through down town Los Angeles. I thought I saw this laugh fest before; but I have to tell you, I am really spellbound by just how stupid this movie is. You know, I fully support a little suspension of disbelieve in these summer tent pole flicks, where you have to check your brain in at the door before you enter the theater — but this abomination takes it to a whole new level. I am about 40 minutes into it, but already there have been numerous fire fighters, police officers, Tommy Lee Jones and YES, small doggies running from said lava mere inches from it. Let me say that again… MERE INCHES FROM HOT MOULTANT DEATH. Seriously, INCHES.

Hollywood, lava can get up to temperatures of over 1,200 degrees Celsius. That is over 2192 degrees Fahrenheit. If a human being, let alone a 5 pound frickin dog, was an inch from a pool of red hot liquid that was over 2,000 degrees, they wouldn’t be able to run away because THEY WOULD BE A BALL OF FIRE. It’s LAVA. GOD DAMN LAVA. You can’t be a couple inches from it, you can’t walk around in a subway car floating in it, and you certainly can not push a bus over to keep it flowing down a street. SERIOUSLY, there is stupid and then there’s STUPID. I can’t believe this thing made a dime. You guys should stick to alien invaders blowing up skyscrapers. At least that is somewhat believable.

JESUS CHRIST, the cross dressing brother from the Drew Carey Show just jumped in lava caring a man on his back and melted like ice cream into it. WOW, I’m speechless.

The Alice in Wonderland Trailer is up…

…and it looks pretty darn nifty. Check it out.

PTA Night has Finally Come!!!

I just received a small supply of copies of my newest book, PTA Night; and they are now available for purchase at my web store. They are currently sold out on Amazon, and this maybe your only way to receive a copy by Christmas. Just saying. And all of my copies come signed by the artist himself. We are kinda of tight, you know.

A Trimmer Tragedy

Ahhh, the internet. The perfect place to embarrass yourself, and let the whole world know it. So without further a due, I purchased a new beard trimmer a little while ago; and it came with a eyebrow trimmer adapter. So, I thought to myself , “Self, why not try this nifty eyebrow debushafing apparatus” — and that’s exactly what I did. Well, the results were not so sexy. The guard slipped from 4 to 1 and… well, here are the results.

Yeah, I look like a demented freak — like Whoopi Goldberg, well, if she was white and had a beard. Just thought I would share my misery with the world; and for the love of God, don’t trim your eyebrows. ENJOY!!!

Kevin Pollak at Largo

I just did this for Kevin a couple of days ago using the portrait I drew of him early last week. If your in LA on December 2nd and you like to laugh (and who doesn’t), go check out his show.

So… that happened — AGAIN.

Just in case you missed my last post about it, here it is.

So, it happened again last night. At around 4 o’clock, I saw it again hovering over my entertainment center again; however, this time it actually picked up my home theater receiver about 12 inches off my entertainment center. It happened so quick that I, again, thought there was actually a burglar in my room. I actually screamed out at the top of my lungs, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!” I really don’t know what I was thinking. If it really was a thief, I probably would have scared him to death. A voice screaming out of a dark room at him. He probably would have shot me. Well, it wasn’t a thief — well, one that was still alive any way. Just like before, the god damn thing split in half, and shot out into a mist and disappeared. Except this time, it dropped my receiver onto my entertainment center, with a large thud. Needless to say, I ran downstairs panicked — to check to make sure someone didn’t just run out of my room. Of coarse there was no one there.

I KNOW this sounds crazy. HELL, it is crazy. Is there really a ghost in my room? Is it possible I was have a waking dream or some other reason explanation. Sure, I freely admit that is entirely possible. I do indeed sleep walk and also talk in my sleep (what a catch, huh ladies) — well, both of these time, this thing just seemed absolutely real. Oh yeah, and when I ran to my entertainment center, the receiver was crooked. So maybe the more important question is, why does this shadow lady want my stereo equipment. I’ll be sure to ask her the next time I see her.

Big Day for BLOGENSTEIN!!!

HOLY CRAP. Yesterday was a HUGE day on Blogenstein, with almost 400 hits. Welcome all newcomers, and thank you Jaime and Kevin for your tweets. You guys are going to make me famous:) Now back to work. I got a whole lot on my plate now.

The First Rule of Fight Club…

… is to never be kissed? Click here to see one of the best practical jokes in a long time. BRAVO, MR. FINCHER.

MAN, that cover is saucy.

Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show

If you haven’t checked out Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show, you really should; and that has nothing to do with the fact that I am currently upgrading his site with lots of fresh Jeremy R. Scott style flash animation, HA HA HA. Go there every Sunday at 5 PM PST to take part in a live podcast, or go there now to catch up on his archive. I’ll update you all when the new site is up and running. For now, check out this really sweet picture I illustrated of the man himself.